So I was sat in the garden having a smoke with my OH when I realised, he says some funny shit. Sometimes it baffles me. It’s so ridiculous. Other times it just makes me chuckle. Every once in a while though he makes me laugh so hard my sides hurt I sit there clapping like a seal and (judging myself in my head for my awful laugh) I thought you might like to head some little tidbits from inside his mind. If not I don’t care I’m still going to write it. So I can laugh at it in times to come.
The most recent one that made me keel over with laughter was his take on horns. Not the brass instrument, though when probed he will reveal he loves horns in music. No he meant his van horn. Recently he has got a new company van, which he is over the moon with. Due to the times that he works there is rarely anyone on the roads on his way back home. Heres his story, now this is from memory so it may be paraphrased.
“I was pulling up to the roundabout and there is like two lanes for each exit and all of a sudden out of nowhere this car shot in front of me. He could have killed me. I didn’t even go in the wrong lane. What a dickhead man. (He now proceeded to explain how a roundabout works, with some amazing hand-air diagrams, I don’t drive but I’m not dumb…) So anyway, I papped my horn at him. Well blared really, that’s a better word. I fucking love that horn. It’s so loud.
*takes a few drags as we sit in momentary silence*
I wanted the confrontation I think. I was next to so many wankers on the motorway today. Bloody lorry drivers . Couldn’t see me I guess cause of their blind spots. Had to use my horn loads today. Not with them though there was three of them in the car. Imagine if they would have got out.
*silence whilst he drinks half a beer at once, how??*
Even if they would have said something. Three against one, that’s all I need. The horn was awesome though. (childish grin) Aren’t horns brilliant? “
What is this mindless drivvel you might be thinking. If you would have seen him, so animated about horns you would have laughed too. Have you ever watched the fast show? Check it out on youtube it’s this old school comedy show which requires spare knickers to watch. If you don’t die laughing I will eat my hat. He quotes that alot which peppers his conversation with an amusing game of spot that quote.
Does your OH make you laugh? Do they make you mad? Get in touch and let me know!