The General British Public.

Recently I became unemployed. Nothing too interesting about that , you might be thinking, it’s the events that followed that opened my eyes considerably.

Firstly, I took a trip down to my local Job Center. I can honestly say it opened my eyes to see such a… wide variety of personalities in one area and that was just the staff. The Job Seekers themselves were awful. Obviously not all of them, most of them though were living up to the general stereotype created by tv shows like Benefit Street. They were rude, living well above their means, vulgar and the rest were stinky. Like man, surely you can afford to shower? I do not mean to sound rude I just never imagined people actually had the guts to act like that especially after a certain age. Surely people’s response to them throughout their many years on earth has told them they ought to act different . Jason, I don’t understand.

Is it only me who thinks like that? Do you go through life considering whether or not people like you? I don’t mean 24/7, just a lot. When I was younger i was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Syndrome so coupled with my ‘daddy issues’ it created this need within me to seek commendation and affirmation from other people to build my self-esteem. As you already know this has got me into a lot of situations better avoided. It also means i get anxious when leaving the house more so if i feel like a scruff or like people will be judging me based on my actions or appearance. Anyway….

Job interviews I hate them. They are the worst, not that I would complain at having a few. Sucks being out of work , out of routine, out of cash. I placed an ad on Gumtree, biggest mistake of my life. Insight number two on the general British public : They are nut jobs.

I expected the odd get rich quick reply or commission only jobs to be suggested what I didn’t expect however was this:

“Hi, I need someone to take with me to a therapy session in a private sauna. I will pay £100 each two-hour session. I have five this month.

Just so you know private saunas are fully nude. Message me. ”

“Good Afternoon Madam,

I need a Fe male four companionship . Only wallkes and days out no sexualities involved. i want too learn english beeter two. Message me i will com too you. I pay many pounds. You name the price madam. ”

“You have beautiful eyes, would you consider modelling for my sunglasses company we don’t have any money yet but I could give you some shares in the business? Call me 07@#~%&*$~@.”

No. Thankyou. I shall not be messaging you , calling you or having you visit  me. I would rather get asscaked off my OH. (asscaked : def. verb. cup a fart , shove it under their nose.) That wasn’t even all of them. I am just baffled, what makes people ask? Do I look like the desperate type? Anyway, my job search continues. I will hopefully find something decent I can do for work and still enjoy. I don’t want to be 50 and be a shop assistant or a cleaner. I want to make something of myself. Oooh I just found another thing I want. Maybe I should make a goal list.

Send me your experiences and comments. I would love to know if anyone has stumbled upon my online madness manual yet.

 

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