8697 days. Breathing, eating, sleeping but not really living. 23 years of wasted life. Don’t get me wrong I have some awesome memories. In the grand scheme of things however I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me. I mean when you think of all there is to see, to make, to try and realise you have spent 8697 days mainly in the same country doing pretty much the exact same thing for over half of those it’s hard not to feel like shite.Do you feel me?
Recently, I awoke. Not in a weird “new year new me” kind of way. I just realised i wanted more. It took me a while to even begin knowing what I wanted. There are people out there who invent cures. People who shelter abandoned children. People who can play piano with their feet. People who climb mountains, travel the world, learn languages. Even people who can eat 13 grilled cheese sandwiches in 60 seconds. Then you have me. My washing is still in the machine even though it finished approximately one million years ago. The total extent of my language skills is some shoddy sign language that makes me look like I’ve have the fidgets and the usual hello goodbye routines in french and spanish. I change emails addresses when my inbox gets too full rather than sorting through the plethora of crap companies feel it necessary to send me. I do not know how to make a car move, other than take the handbrake off on a hill. Most of all i can barely get through a day without losing my shit.
So here I am and maybe there you are reading. This online journal is going to serve as my outlet. My growth chart. My cathartic release. Join me as I finally get to know myself and hopefully make some new memories along the way.
Now I’m awake hell, I may aswell make the most of it.